Courage in Navigating the anxious age
When my kids were infants, we were amazed at their ability to navigate the touch screen of our iPhone – “look at that!”, we’d marvel … “Incredible!”
I’m a little ashamed to admit that it wasn’t until later on in the ‘Terrible 2s’, when I noticed my son feigning injury because he had linked crying with our swift provision of the phone, that we realised something had to change.
This was at the start of the digital 2.0 era, and things have changed dramatically since then.
Our kids are highly connected; this year alone we’ll spend the equivalent of 500 million years scrolling on social media, according to GWI, a consumer research company.
Unrestricted use of smart phones exposes our kids to extremely risky content and interactions — platforms like Instagram and TikTok fail to enforce age limits. The digital deluge replaces crucial real-world guidance, especially during puberty, and there is very compelling reason to link the current anxiety and broader mental health crisis to this fact.
Addressing these challenges takes courage. We can work together as parents and caregivers, along with school communities, to set boundaries and start conversations about what’s best for our kids.
American psychologist and author, Jonathan Haight says this about unrestricted and unlimited access:
Once a child gets online, there is never a threshold age at which he/she is granted more autonomy or more rights. On the internet, everyone is the same age, which is no particular age. Once we had a new generation hooked on smartphones (and other screens) before the start of puberty, there was little space left in the stream of information entering their eyes and ears for guidance from mentors in their real-world communities during puberty.
Jonathan Haight’s suggested developmental approach could be a starting point:
Age 6: Introduce chores and a weekly allowance to foster responsibility.
Age 8: Allow local freedom with a child-friendly phone.
Age 10: Permit wider roaming with a basic phone and encourage unstructured play.
Age 12: Promote work and adult mentorship.
Age 14: Increase independence and introduce monitored smartphone use.
Age 16: Advocate for stricter online account regulations (https://www.36months.com.au/)
Age 18: Recognize full legal adulthood.
As parents we can also model healthy technology use by removing screens during family time and setting offline activities. Try Scott Pape’s “Screen Free Sundays” to reconnect without digital distractions.
By guiding our kids and setting healthy norms, we can navigate this digital age together, ensuring young people grow into the responsible and mentally healthy young adults we know they can be.
Scott Pape: How your life changed in 2012
Jonathan Haight: The Anxious Generation
Philippians 4:6-7
Mr Luke Swain
Head of Campus - Tyabb and Mount Martha
